Frank Talk

I was being pushed to blog by my colleagues for the last two weeks. I just got sometime today to blog. Hopefully this is as interesting or as boring as subject like the others that i have posted . Opinions differ :- ))

Well what is "Frank" all about. Dictionary meaning states that "unbounded by anything or free" but it seldom occurs.

This week , i learnt how powerful "frank talk" is i.e. talk unbounded by anything ,very free and away from all the usual bull shit.

I learnt it from two angles , in one occasion , i was doing all the frank talk and in the next someone else did all the talking i.e. i was at the receiving end.

In the first case, there is this good friend of mine who was undergoing a harrowing experience in her professional life , there was a thought in her that she has not been performing well for whatever reason and somehow seemed to be out of place. She was generally a star performer and hardworking , something seemed to have been nagging her . During the few weeks that i observed ,it was quite evident that there she was not enjoying and something was seriously wrong with her . No idea what it was tough !

Deciding to help , i spoke to her , to talk her through and see what was happening and try and see if i could do something to help.

Unbelievably , as the conversation started, i found out that it was a simple problem of over expectation and the problem boiled down to this " I was all along a Super Performer and i am unable to do that now?".

I spoke for about one hour almost non stop as if somebody had written the dialogues for me beforehand and i had memorized it to the pause. Speaking with genuine concern,explaining what i saw as the problem , telling the strengths as i saw in her ,the potential weakness and giving no bullshit . I was stunned by myself as i ticked all the boxes for a great frank talk. The answer was instantaneous ,this person now became extremely positive and more importantly cheerful. Ever since i did this talk,she seems to be doing well and keeps telling me that weight has been taken off her shoulders . I don't know if performance indeed has improved but certainly happiness has returned .

Next in line was me at the receiving end of the talk and that happened just today.On some issue i was arguing with my mom for a week or two and was extremely annoyed on the way it was being handled . My uncle was at home and had just a thirty minute chat with me .He spoke extremely frankly,explaining the situation as is with me .With an age difference of about 35 years, it was quite natural that i was listening and he speaking.

As always we tend to ignore advices from elders or even evade them when they speak to us on things which we feel are sensitive but today it was quite different , i could feel myself change and inspired as the talk went on.It was pure bliss.

What i realised today was that ,when things are spoken openly i.e. frankly , we tend to listen and it is such a relief that once spoken we know the answer to questions we had in our mind ,in one way or the other . It is not necessarily positive , can be negative answers as well but at least we do not need to be extremely tensed about the subject , as we already know what the answer is or where to start looking for. There is a clear sense of direction in the mind,which i think causes the relief.

It sounds so silly to write about these two incidents but the subject of discussion is the same , and there is an element of truth in saying that Frank Talk did help in both occasion.

We don't understand these until we go through the experience ,both of them were wonderful moments. Speaking is natural but Frank Talk is nature at its cracking best!