Smile :)

Welcome 2010.

Wish you all a very happy and a prosperous new year.

To begin with ,one of my initiatives for 2010 blogging is to write on subject i am not very good at. So lets start with one which am very poor at ,you are thinking what is that. Well - "Smile".

Never can one imagine even in wildest of dream that just a flex of a muscle will melt people and solve problem a many.

It is wonderful to see anyone smile right from a kid to even the elderly. There is an eternal bliss to it, if god has given human kind one gift that should be the "Smile".

It's probably the only thing that comes free of cost which makes both the giver and the receiver happy.

So when it does not cost us anything and makes everyone happy around us ,so why not use it every time and as much as possible.

Yes,smile a mile. Keep a great smile.

Have a wonderful start to the new year . Start this year with a big smile.

Keep Smiling.

How Much Does Saving Money Help?

Folks,

Last post for 2009.I thought i will write on something that i learnt. May be a small blog.

About a couple of years back one of my colleague and a friend of mine Venkateswaran (aka Venkat Anna) gave a piece of advice that you need to save some money every month and need to have about 50K in your account i.e. liquid cash always.

I did not understand the significance of that advice at that moment but decided to follow it because some one had taken time to give me advice.

How right he had been ,last couple of weeks has thought me why that should be done by every one.

I had been entrusted a task of taking my team for an outing ,first time where instead of my organization spending , i had to spend first and had to get the entire cost reimbursed later.This was also the first time where i am doing such a thing.

The cost was a lot and it had to come from my pocket first to pay out all the advances. It was such a coincidence that i listened to that golden advice of saving money ,which was the only thing that bailed me out of sheer embarrassment from telling people that i don't have money so cannot probably take you out,if we can pool in money and then we can claim it,would not have been nice to do that to your staff.

Golden advice. It is in fact golden advice for many people . Saving money does help.

Looks like this advice also holds good for the economy ,instead of working on credit if we do look at balancing our expenditure and saving life could be much better.

Infact it isn't too late even if we start now , we should be able to avert ourselves individually from the crisis like the one that swamped us last year and also whole economy could be saved .

Of course i am no economist and there are better qualified people who can write with an lot more acumen but i feel that this simple advice does make sense. One cannot live on credit and if some one is trying to do so , its just calm before the storm and disaster in waiting.

Signing off for 2009,wish all my followers and everyone else a very happy and a prosperous new year.

See you all in 2010.

Does Hard Work Really Pay?

This is my version, many of you who will read this might just think i am only one among the lucky few but Suresh i certainly know that you'll agree to what am writing.

Just a day back, i was sitting in one of the worlds top airline's business class lounges at one of the worlds busiest airport, having my Apple Mac Laptop and doing some business work.In between talking to my boss on various business strategies, not to forget the rich creamy coffee's with world famous nuts. That went on for about 30 minutes and then picked up a CNN business traveller and Financial Times paper to flip through and the magazine to read inflight.

Boarded the flight and was relaxing for about an hour , then suddenly a thought in my mind.

"Well for a guy coming from a village who had not even travelled outside his city for more than 21 years and who had been ruing about scores of lost opportunity in the past,all of a sudden how did this all come true?" Business Class travel, Apple Laptop what not.Travelled to various countries scores of times.How did it all happen?

Is it true that iam one of those top creme de la creme? Certainly not.Iam certainly not from any of the elite B schools, neither from top tier Engineering Universities where typically you would find those god's.I am one among the scores of ordinary mortals.

So how did this all happen. I asked myself, did i have extraordinary skills in certain areas, certainly not. Was i those one of the blue eyed boys related to some one at the helm.Well i wish so. Was i a champion performer, i could be but certainly not at the moment.

So how could i have pulled this off. I took time to think and after laborious thinking few buzz words trickled. Those were, hard work, discpline,dedication,passion and lastly a unending desire to learn and take a crack at things .

Exactly , those were the qualities that i had and that has given me those opportunities. Coming from a very average back ground, these were the qualities i had in built in myself. Every defeat was looked up as an opportunity,even sucess taught what could have gone wrong, every time i failed, i never said give up but said push even harder to achieve things. Every time criticsm fell on me , i took that in a positive view and said to myself that someone is taking their time off to give me feed back by the way of their criticism,who on earth would do that?

Apart from my strenghts , working on the weakness was also critical , as Azim Premji says quite often. That made me polish myself .

Lastly i was open to ideas and changes. I had a very open mindset.Lastly when i had all these, it just looks like i was there at the right place at the right time.

The answer to my thought finally was hard work does pay,may be one might need to wait but if we are dedicated and are not greedy of others success but learn a trick or two from their success, well one can definitely achieve things in life .

Although i have exaggerated the contents in the blog a bit but the point that i wanted to drive home was "Hard Work and Open mind does pay you and it pays you big time".

As always open for comments!

Corporate Jungle and Performance Management

Its that time of the year every manager dreads. Yes,its the time for performance appraisals.

It's not about the performance itself or the whole process which is scary but the scale of expectations from staff is!

As is said always,every one thinks he/she is a super performer and every one thinks he/she deserves a solid rating at the end of the year.

What i find missing in people is acceptance that a year has not been great,he or she has not performed well . Managers are chastised for handing out poor rating, as if they got up from bed thinking X or Y should not be given good rating even if they have performed well.

Performance in my opinion is always relative and its true in an organization. Comparison has to happen on relative scale.If X has performed at a super status level with the same tools as Y has had , it is only fair to rate X higher than Y,even if Y is more experienced and senior in the role.

Expectations from people have soared,even in this economic climate that's not changed. That is what intrigues me quite a lot. When an organization is performing well , they need it to give promotions year after year and so is the case when the markets are tough. This is a sheer paradox or even a Pandora's box for me.

There are two things that i see are the problems. On the one hand not all managers are fair in their ratings , some times being in the boss's cabin or doing stuff for him/her do get things done.On the other hand people ,especially at lower levels also need to understand that not every year things remain the same and performance is relative. One more bigger head ache is that how well has the organization clarified what its goals are ,if this isn't done properly,it can be a real problem answering people at the end

Then comes the big daddy of statistics the bell-curve, i would not delve into it but this some times inhibits rewarding very good performers.

In a nutshell, organization,managers and employees need to do their bit to ensure a smooth and a transparent performance management.

The reason i called this post "Corporate Jungle" is because as in a jungle , even in a corporation only the best gets rewarded,not that average performers do not again its a question of relativity and matter what in economics is called "Bandwagon Effect" or "Network Externality" i.e. a person next to me has got a promotion or a solid rating so should "i",without thinking am i really worth it?

If people can ask themselves that question and reason it out , how much of a camaraderie would be there in organizations. Well its anybody's guess on how much better it would be.

How Much Do we Live for the Society!

I am writing this with an absolute fury in my mind. Am absolutely furious.

Just about half an hour back , i was witnessing how much our society drives what we do.

A cousin of mine had a love marriage three years ago.My family had cut all relationships with her.She had a complicated pregnancy and had a baby after battle with death.

The story unfolded today,when my cousin and her better half came to see her parents.

Rain was lashing today , my cousin and her husband had come today with the baby to get the blessings of the family. First they waited in front of her home. Not even one soul spoke to the couple and did not even call them into the house.

I just was a meek spectator trying hard to argue with my parents ,uncle and also eldest uncle,the head of the family about what was unfolding and what they were doing was incorrect.As a human we should show some courtesy was my argument.

I just could not understand why we do not forgive and why this much ego . Why don't elders understand we are in 21st century.I was shattered to hear that the reason my uncle did not want her daughter into her home is "What would the society say", i was stunned and pained to hear.

Not even my eldest uncle heeded to my pleas. How long do we intend to be driven by the society and live for the society.

I in no way am undermining the importance of the society but there are limits to every thing. What is the cost that we are paying!!!!

I am not giving up without a fight and am deeply hurt on what has happened .I am sure i am not a loner in this , sure many of you would have been a part of or witnessed a similar situation.

Two States- Story of My Marriage by Chetan Bhagat

I am no marketing manager for Rupa & co or do i have special stake in this book selling well.

What i am i going to write in this blog , the subject line could make you think its about the book and maybe you are already thinking i am going to do a review.

Well no , what i would like to focus is the subject of the book. These are my own opinions on the subject of the book.

I read this book in one shot , considering this is a very small book so the completion of the book in one go is not a great achievement by any standards but the book for sure enough was riveting.

The story is about two lovers from different community in India and the hardships that they undergo to get through to their marriage .

What are the hardships portrayed by the author , is it all fictitious ? No, the author has done justice to the subject and i guess it was also his personal story.

When i read the book , emotions ran so high in me , don't ask why but it was so vividly explained that i had no way not to accept what has been written.

The moment i was in the middle of the book, all that flashed in my mind was the dialogue from Chak De India movie,where the new coach Kabir Khan (sharuk) gets to know his new team and asks every one to introduce themselves , everyone states their name and the state but only Vidya Malvade says that she is Vidya and playing for India. Hearing this the coach Kabir is impressed and thundered to every other player that this should be their attitude as well.

Why did this dialogue flash my mind because even now in 21st century,when we want India to shine and do accept that we have the right resources and are resourceful alas only in thoughts but not in action.

Even now , when we want to marry , our parents have a say and one cannot marry a loved one from other caste or creed . What an irony!

No cross pollination , we want India to win world cups , we want India to lead the financial recovery,we need India to do every thing that we individuals dream of but we will frown at a Tamil brahmin marrying a Punjabi or even a Gujarathi marrying a Bengali.

What is wrong in some one marrying another person of their liking , where does caste , language etc come into play.So long as they are able to manage their lives and be a good son, father,daughter,mother,daughter in law , son in law what else should they do and why should they not marry. I am still not able to get my head around this.

The only reason i can come up with is that "What will the society tell?" Well,the society isn't going to do anything if the daughters and son marry some one other than whom they like. It's like doing something when one doesn't like it .

Tamil Superstar in one of the cinema says that "If you don't get what you want be happy with what you get" agreed but in this case , i don't see a reason why a boy and girl who like each other do not deserve to live together happily. Is it their sin to be born a Gujarathi or a Marwari or Bengali etc.

If india is to shine , this attitude has to change. It is changing i do not deny that but more should come .

This emotional black mailing,the nuclear weapon called crying by mom's and dad's just to stop the marriages just because either the son or the daughter is marrying some one outside their community should be a thing of the past.

Let's put India first.

The Joy of Giving

They say share your happiness and it doubles , they say share your sorrow and it halves . I say give things to people who need it and the joy knows no bound.

Yes, i mean it . I went through it personally yesterday. I have a cousin who is twenty eight years elder to me and has two kids. Their family were not doing well financially .

After a very long time ,she had been to my house yesterday. We had a good lunch together. Late in the evening my mom asked me what i wanted to do for them. I said anything but i don't

really know what they want .

It would not be wise to ask them what they want but it would be even worse to buy or give them something which is of no use to them. It was a catch-22 situation.

I just thought for a second and said to my mom how about buying them provisions for a month , it would be quite useful . It worked.

I took my bike and off i went to a super market to buy a months groceries. I had such guts that i easily assumed this was easy to do all by myself.

I had never gone to a super market without a list of what was needed and i had no clues what provisions and groceries would be required to run a family.So here i was in the super market without knowing what to buy.

I was stuck , did not know what i wanted . I stared in disbelief about my inability but trusted my common sense. I started from the basic household needs and went through them in my mind on what all could be required.

When i was finished , i just called my mom and told her what i bought believe me i was not too off the mark.

I bought everything , packed them neatly,billed it and was back home.

Just when my cousin was supposed to leave, i called her and gave all that i bought.

I stood still and smiled at her as tears rolled past her cheek , she gave me a huge hug and a kiss. That embrace said it all and how much my affection meant to her .

It was only a small token of my affection but meant a lot to her . What i learnt in this whole episode is that , it takes a very little effort to make others smile and make them feel special.

My joy was over the roof why because i took the first step in giving something . It was a magical moment for me .

It was a great joy in giving.

Time Off

I was inspired to write this blog by Stefan Sagmeister a famous Austrian born designer.

I watched a video of him speak about the value of taking "Time Off" from one's work i.e. a sabbatical and do something one is interested in. That video sent thinking waves in my mind.

Stefan says that one learns quite a lot during the so called time off aka sabbatical. How true,i cannot agree more with him.

We are all so stereotyped in our daily chores that we forget what we want to do.We are embroiled so much with work that lot of things skip our mind. Mind you i am not talking about holidays which most of us do take,this is specifically focussing on a sabbatical.

Sabbatical as dictionary defines it is a short break that is taken every seventh year . Stefan in his video says that this does lot of wonders. Lot of my friends who are going to read this blog are going to think , is this guy become 'crazy'.

Well not really . Let's understand this in the right sense. How many of us take time daily or even on a monthly basis to think first of all. Our lives are so robotized these days that it is just short of being programmed. It so happens that even some of surprises that nature throws at us on a daily basis are by-passed with precision or near precision.

Life has become so monotonous and how many times in a day we hear people say that life is so dull and has nothing new to offer .

Stefan did have an answer to this. He basically forced himself to close down his design studio for customers for a year and go to different/far off places . He said that when he was back from his break, he made more profits than ever and did things in a different way. The reason is one immerses oneself into what he or she likes during the break.

That could be true to people like us too , although i can imagine that taking a years break from work can be too much of an ask but it should be possible for us to do , if only we do careful planning.

Half way through the video Stefan gave a wonderful view of planning . The first time he took the break, he basically said to himself that he would take a break and do different things but at the end did nothing. The second time , he actually planned what he wanted to do and he stuck to the plan,it worked.He shows the example of what and how he planned.

Even for us it could be possible with a little planning. I do know some people who take a break to go and study , we can do different things all of us are different and possibilities are end less.

So let's think about it and see where and how we want to let the steam off.

If you are interested in the video - http://www.ted.com/talks/stefan_sagmeister_the_power_of_time_off.html

Is Twenty Four Hours Enough?

I am no different from you . I keep repeating the golden verse "i have no time for it" .

No time!

I found out how foolish it is to say it . Ever since i joined my management course in IIM , its become so routine that i slogged my heart out. May it be a race to finish a project/assignment or it could be preparation for next class. All this on top of my routine day job and host of other activities.I also found time to go for my driving classes. Now i think that there is lot of time at hand and how valuable it is to put that time to good use .

What i realized is that the time at hand when put to good use benefits us immensely. That is extremely easy to realize but i wonder why i did not realize it nor do host of humble souls around me. It is a given that we should be looking at it as a matter of priority but some how eludes us .

Last four months i have been doing my management course, reading scores of books almost two a month , taking host of online quizzes ,making new friends,learning driving and feel still lots more could be done, definitely time is there . Before which it was only office and home ,life just stopped there.

How come all of a sudden availability of time has exploded? Nothing has changed it is still twenty four hours a day.

Phew! why did i realize this so late . Pondering the question , reality hits . All these years, i have been in the so called "comfortable zone" . When pushed i realized how much could have been done and how much time has been wasted.

However it is better late than never .

Is twenty four hours enough to do things which we want to? Well answer to that is "I guess yes" because people who have achieved notable things in life also had the same twenty four hours. So why should it be any different for us.

Work-LIfe Balance

Folks, don't beat me up if this doesn't go the way you want to.

Work-Life balance , this is the buzz word these days ,as the going becomes tough and the economic crisis not seem to be abating anytime in the near future, it is getting very stressful at work place as we get very emotionally drained with all negative news surrounding us.

I hear people say they are working "ridiculous" hours and its too tough for people to cope with the pressure and unable to balance work and life.

Let's ask ourselves a simple question "Who is to be blamed for the position we are in?" - Managers,Organization,Family,Colleagues,Current economic situation who should be blamed. should it not be ourselves to blame.

Why do i say so? The reasons are multi-folded. Lets analyze this in a very pragmatic way.

By definition work-life balance is prioritizing between work/career and personal life. So if that is what is defined as work-life then the one element that differentiates good work-life and probably not so good is "Priority" .

Who can do the prioritization , it can only be us and no one else. No one apart from the individual can decide what he or she wants to be the priority. So why don't we go ahead and do it.

Reasons lay in the root of our upbringing. Parents say that this world is ultra competitive and one needs to work hard to come up . We take that in literal sense , for us a sixteen hour work day is the hard work part. We think working long hours equals rewards or recognition . I know people in various organizations who being at the helm are able to balance work and their personal life .

The recent incident that comes to my mind is that of the new CEO at the ailing insurance giant AIG - Robert Benmosche. He basically took a vacation in Croatia for about two weeks,when his firm was in turmoil and so much of media coverage was been given . However he defended his position and rightly so .When a CEO of a giant corporation having offices in many countries and in such a problem can balance his work and life . Why cannot we do it?

Just take a moment to think about it ? It is a serious matter . We need to plan our work and also plan how we want to do things .

One of the strong things that iam encouraging new mom's and dad's is to teach their kids how to plan things . It is extremely important .

Although i do agree that there are other things that some times hinder proper planning but even if we get 80% planning in our work , we would be much better of in terms of work and life . Else its going to be a sad story of people being in office for those ridiculous hours and keep cribbing.

We can change the way we want to do with due respect to work . Let's also bear in mind the concept of work was certainly not defined in 20th Century . Let's appreciate the fact that people have been working for ages and in many of them in hostile/tough conditions but the work-life issue is a recent phenomena. Why would be so . Primarily due to the attitude of people. Our attitude towards work has to be slightly altered and we need to understand work is not end all . Work is just one part of life.

It's just a matter of applying ourselves and planning . Remember a time and health once lost is lost forever .

Hope with this blog iam able to change the mind set of at least few people.

Friendship!

Several people who have read my previous blog came up to me and let me know that they like some of my blogs and some they have different views. Which is always good.

I was thinking why do they come up to me and why do they need to share . There should be something that drives them . Truly unrelated people who come together and try to be together accepting each one as is. It can only be friendship.

A lot can be written on this topic but will try to add my two pence.

If iam what i am it is definitely due to m friends a true tribute to all of them .

Goldi as Gaurav is fondly called, Brat as Bharath is called, Dinks as Dina is called,Vags as Vagmi is known and the entire college gang which has so far shown what friendship can do .

I still vividly remember Goldi , the ever brilliant came into our first class , sat in the front row.Typical of these studious guys , i was in the middle . Then Brat et all . We formed our gang , coming from very different backgrounds and with different ambitions in life . Its very suprising how we gelled together and are still glued together even after eight years post college.

They said college is different work life can be different. Well not truly, it can be as enjoyable as college or even better if you get good friends. My first friend , Ra Venki , Kushti aka Jr Venki , Goks , Uduppa aka Anand, Suku aka Sukumar,Chitrappu aka Deepak, Major sir aka Sundar Sir , Vazhai aka Vinod , Kutta aka Shenith, Mapla aka Harish , Goindsamy aka Anand, well the list is endless .

So many people , varied back grounds, different mind sets but whatever it takes , they all help each other at times of need.

I still remember that first week of June 2001 , when i needed 7000 Rs urgently to payoff some one . Ra Venki saw me in the verge of tears that night speaking to my mom on a borrowed cell phone . He came up and asked what's the problem . As anyone would typically do , i did evade that question by saying nothing but he insisted then i broke down.

He ran upstairs brought me a cheque and it was written 7000 favouring me .I was just dumb struck and could barely comprehend what was happening and why would someone who knows me barely for couple of weeks do such a thing . It was that day that the friendship blossomed which i cherish to this day.

Another vivid incident that i remember is when Goldi and Brat played a trap to make me comfortable speaking with girls , i would not delve into what they did , they have done many of such stuffs and have ensured that i get comfortable . They had so much of interest on me getting out of the fear of speaking to ladies(girls) that they kept tabling that as an agenda whenever we met. Well thanks to those guys that iam able to keep up their names and also is good in a sense.To this day i quote that incident wherever possible.

The list of incidents are endless but its always positive ,even a bad situation is soothed by a close friends shoulders.

Iam always grateful to all of them and friendship is invaluable let us not have ego and arrogance play a part to spoil it . Because once a gem is cut improperly its never going to be a gem and lost is lost forever.

Bow my heads to great friends! I might think of writing part 11 of this as well because i have missed so much and lots more can be written now that there are new found friends as well!!!

Personal Life Vs Work Life

I feel miserable today, reason i could not make it to my cousins marriage,why?

I came from office late last night , i had to leave for the marriage early morning and today had truck loads of things to do in office!!

Woke up just in time but still was tired and had a long day ahead , so went back to sleep. Came to office and put in a grueling 14 hours but reality bites in. Why work so hard and compromise on personal things. I thought i could have done better today.

We are so enmeshed with work and spend on an average 50% of our available time in office that we think office is life .If we exclude traveling time and sleeping time , this percentage could well hit the 80 mark.

Even when we travel to and from office we only think about office and work barring few important occasions.

In reality,life is so beautiful that we miss many important things that do not come back to us . Those precious little moments,we miss them and then complain that life is dull and boring.

How many of us can honestly say that we really take good care of our near and dear ones . Many a times office work takes precedence that we even forego taking care of ourselves. I have seen my colleagues putting in 18 hour days , they haven't taken time off for themselves nor for their partners .

When subtly asked , standard answer is "We are young , if we do not work hard now , then when would we ?" Yes, that's true but at what cost . A sons first birthday or a marriage anniversary comes only once and a lost opportunity is lost for ever.

I have seen moms and dads in office who are furious on themselves because their son is ill and they are unable to take care of them or for that matter it is a marriage anniversary for them and they are barking at the stupid MIS which needs to be sent to someone.

We need to take conscious effort to try and enjoy our life because it is wonderful. How can we do that? Answer is planning things properly and ensuring that there is a divide between professional and personal life . If we can achieve this , then it would be a wonderful thing.

I need to try and do what i have said above and am still kicking myself for not making it to the marriage today!!!!

"Rubhino" The F1 Statesman

Its not my normal self to post two blogs in successive days ,quite unlike of me. However watching Rubens Barrichello win todays European Grand Prix in Valencia pushed me to salute formula 1's greatest servant and a true statesman.

Rubhino as he is fondly called has had more grand prix starts than any other driver in the world. Being in his late thirties, today he demonstrated to the younger generation how to keep your competitive spirit flying.

When Mclaren messed their routine pit stop for Lewis Hamilton ,boy o boy did Rubhino put the hammer down and set the track on a blitz .He showed supreme confidence and handled the Brawn Gp car to precision.He never looked back and neither did he slip . Drove the race absolutely inch perfect .

One can only get into Formula one if he is ultra competitive and being there for these many years and competing with drivers who are almost ten years junior to him tells us something about his fighting spirit.

Well people say age plays a big role in keeping ones fighting spirit going but Rubhino showed age has nothing to do with keeping onself fit,confident and moreover a will to win .

Someone like me who complains about hard work and all the stress,Rubhino has shown what's possible . Driving a car through grueling 57 laps under scorching sun, at an average of over 2oo mph and having to go through 5G lap after lap ,this was something extra special from him.Also teaches us lesson on what's possible.

What's more ,when he came up to the park his car ,there were all people rushing to congratulate him. The Ferrari's,Mclarens,Renaults. You name it everyone was there. Such is his charisma and being liked by so many people in a sport which is seen by many in the world as glamorous and politically driven says very highly about Rubhino.

Well done Rubhino , expecting more to come from him. When you hang-up your helmet,world will remember you as a great person and a true reflection of the competitive sport.

Savour this moment and bow my head down for a great sportsperson. Very special.

Hope he writes a Bio of himself,can't wait for that to happen.

I think i like him because he shares my birthday or rather i share his !!!!!

Frank Talk

I was being pushed to blog by my colleagues for the last two weeks. I just got sometime today to blog. Hopefully this is as interesting or as boring as subject like the others that i have posted . Opinions differ :- ))

Well what is "Frank" all about. Dictionary meaning states that "unbounded by anything or free" but it seldom occurs.

This week , i learnt how powerful "frank talk" is i.e. talk unbounded by anything ,very free and away from all the usual bull shit.

I learnt it from two angles , in one occasion , i was doing all the frank talk and in the next someone else did all the talking i.e. i was at the receiving end.

In the first case, there is this good friend of mine who was undergoing a harrowing experience in her professional life , there was a thought in her that she has not been performing well for whatever reason and somehow seemed to be out of place. She was generally a star performer and hardworking , something seemed to have been nagging her . During the few weeks that i observed ,it was quite evident that there she was not enjoying and something was seriously wrong with her . No idea what it was tough !

Deciding to help , i spoke to her , to talk her through and see what was happening and try and see if i could do something to help.

Unbelievably , as the conversation started, i found out that it was a simple problem of over expectation and the problem boiled down to this " I was all along a Super Performer and i am unable to do that now?".

I spoke for about one hour almost non stop as if somebody had written the dialogues for me beforehand and i had memorized it to the pause. Speaking with genuine concern,explaining what i saw as the problem , telling the strengths as i saw in her ,the potential weakness and giving no bullshit . I was stunned by myself as i ticked all the boxes for a great frank talk. The answer was instantaneous ,this person now became extremely positive and more importantly cheerful. Ever since i did this talk,she seems to be doing well and keeps telling me that weight has been taken off her shoulders . I don't know if performance indeed has improved but certainly happiness has returned .

Next in line was me at the receiving end of the talk and that happened just today.On some issue i was arguing with my mom for a week or two and was extremely annoyed on the way it was being handled . My uncle was at home and had just a thirty minute chat with me .He spoke extremely frankly,explaining the situation as is with me .With an age difference of about 35 years, it was quite natural that i was listening and he speaking.

As always we tend to ignore advices from elders or even evade them when they speak to us on things which we feel are sensitive but today it was quite different , i could feel myself change and inspired as the talk went on.It was pure bliss.

What i realised today was that ,when things are spoken openly i.e. frankly , we tend to listen and it is such a relief that once spoken we know the answer to questions we had in our mind ,in one way or the other . It is not necessarily positive , can be negative answers as well but at least we do not need to be extremely tensed about the subject , as we already know what the answer is or where to start looking for. There is a clear sense of direction in the mind,which i think causes the relief.

It sounds so silly to write about these two incidents but the subject of discussion is the same , and there is an element of truth in saying that Frank Talk did help in both occasion.

We don't understand these until we go through the experience ,both of them were wonderful moments. Speaking is natural but Frank Talk is nature at its cracking best!

Spoiled for Choices

Recently many of my friends reminded me that i had not blogged during june , i was just thinking what do i need to blog about?

In the meantime my mind was running around to buy a mobile phone as my existing one had done its justice.

I eventually did buy a phone today but not without a fair share of drama and that i thought should be the topic for this blog.

I was just looking to buy a mobile to talk and be in contact . This statement or my want if you may call ,looks fairly simple to achieve.

You wouldn't believe ,it took me more than four weeks to buy . Why? The answer was quite simple, i was spoilt for choices that were thrown at me . Every time i made my mind to buy some thing , another one with a better feature was in the offing either at the same price or for a price slightly dearer.

Makes from big brans such as Apple, Sony, Samsung, Nokia to name a few. There are plethora of choices which blind the consumer. Within each brand there are many sub brands or models as these are called by the companies . Even these so called models have their own inner rival say a Apple Iphone 16G or a 32 G or a Nokia N 97 and another N series.

If you look carefully, the differences in these models , some of which are quite obvious to find but many just go unnoticed or some phone models could be so close that an average consumer would just not be able to understand why there is a price differential.

Then comes the new features which are pre tested by the companies before launch . Word of mouth gets the better of the conventional marketing. With so much in the offing and differences varying in degree from subtle to major differences . A consumer just buys what he likes or uses the time tested strategy of waiting for others to buy and let him know whether a product is good or not. This is not only in true in Mobile Phone market but also in durable or non durable goods .

It is just stunning to see the reversal of fortune, just a decade back when there were only few household names this could have been unthinkable but now product development and innovation not only have changed the lifestyle but also provides a wide range of choices for an average consumer, there is something in the offer for all kind of people.

The question is ,whether this is good or not ? In my opinion it is definitely good as there are choices to make.

At the end i did make my choice but only after lots of contemplation, after all isn't life all about choices!!

Motherhood and Working in Corporate Office

At the outset ,i apologize if this going to hurt some set of people but i just thought i write this any way.

What prompted me to write on this very topic, well it should only be my niece at home. 

These days one generally sees that women who are working , mainly focus on their careers,  which is really good . 

Gone are the days when men dominated every walks of life , more than ever before women are making their presence felt and in a very towering way. This is all good for a country raring to be the engine of growth and becoming a super power.

On the flip side what is happening is that once these women attain motherhood , they are caught between career and care taking .

Any one in this world would tell you , only a mother would understand what a kid would need . Agreed that  grand parents can do the same, but they can never replace the fondness of a mother, let alone taking care.

That being said , when the so called corporate woman is caught in this dilemma , what happens? First she asks for permission in her office to leave early or going on leaves to be with her kid in the name of spending time with family, can this happen consistently, probably not due to rules and regulations.

Although companies do allow maternity leave of up to 3 to 6 months , believe me this is just not enough. A kid doesn't grow up in six months and the first five years are extremely critical for the kid to grow up and be taken care of . These kids have razor sharp minds, if not cared properly , it is extremely likely that they get hold of habits which parents would not like them growing up with.

So with leave or permissions not an option , our folks take the step of arranging either the grandparents to take care or eventually a nanny is an option. Once this is done , they come to office thinking all is well, only to find that after an hour or two their conscience tearing them apart on how well the kid is managed back home.

Although our women folk look ok at this juncture  at face value but in reality they are emotionally drained and shaken at this predicament . They go on to curse their superiors for not understanding their plight and giving them too much work, then comes her husband for all things that have not worked since their marriage , then colleagues are in the line of fire for not understanding things, then her own parents and in laws. Well the list goes on .

Once back from office , the kid pampers her until late night again the curse mania starts as she has to go to work the following day with pile of targets staring at her . 

Neither the kid gets fair share of tenderness,pampering and care that is required nor the mother gets her fair share of happiness. This may sound bitter but is the brutal truth.

Who is to blame , ask the victim , likely answer  would be the in-laws and her husband. Is it really the case?

If you carefully analyze the situation, our corporate woman could have decided not to go to work, ultimately she decided not to, why?

Think hard, it might seem money is the deciding factor. Prima facia this might be correct but go one step higher you would stumble on the real issue.

The issue is both husband and wife planned all niceties like car,aircon,a good house based on both their salaries . If one of their salaries does not come , well it could mean trouble. At stake is kids welfare and paying of the monthly instalments , both of them very important in their own sense.

Our men folk should take more responsibility here and share the burden,they can but as i stated before no one on this earth can substitute a mother in a kids growth.

Chuck these niceties , it is high time people start thinking in this angle. I only write from what iam seeing but i think this is close to reality.

Expectations at workplace!

I was thinking about what would be the topic for my next blog ,when events over last two weeks finally convinced me that this should be what i need to write about.

If you think ,what am i going to write on a subject which depends on which way you look at it , think again. Let me tell you a good deal can be written about this subject and i'll try and see what i can.

Over last two weeks i have been speaking to many of my colleagues on various aspects about expectations at workplace. Many things came up during these discussions. They were as fickle as pens should be provided to as grandiose as exotic holidays sponsored by the organization. 

What was most striking was the difference in expectations from people with considerable experience and people with not so much, also differences emerged between the two sexes but was not that much.I will concentrate on the recent hopefuls.

One important aspect was how much the first timers crave for growth, specifically faster growth. It was just jaw dropping. In the recent past say about 8 to 10 years back, if you had worked for a good deal of five to ten years then you were expected to be a supervisor. Agreed in current environment, that may not be possible but what came out evident in my discussion's was that the current set of people entering the business environment although much better equipped than their preceding set and portray themselves as street smart as anyone can get , forget one important word "PATIENCE". They need to get things done in a stroke of a second.

In workplace they need promotions as quickly as even a year . Alas, this expectation is not going to take them any forward but most likely a step back. In our country many young people in the band of 20-21 years are starting to work in various sectors and are seen by many to be the backbone of the country. Yes, they have every right to be called so and i myself am supportive of  that but if they need to take our country to the next level, they need to have that golden word "Patience" embedded strongly in their minds .

Just to conclude - Rome was not built in a day , neither was our independence achieved in a year or two. As we know these events of great importance did happen but was only possible because people behind it had the will to achieve it but on top of it , they had truck loads of patience at their disposal.